At the end of March Aaron and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary! Its crazy that we’ve already been married for a whole year. It seems like only a few months ago I was getting zipped into my dress and driving down to the church to meet my groom! Aaron and I moved in together once we were married so there was a bit of adjusting for both of us. Marriage isn’t all romance and candle lit dinners so I thought I would share some lessons I’ve learnt so far.
1. Give. Give. Give.
Not take, take, take. A good marriage is built on sacrifice. Whether it be giving up your money (I’m so sorry Aaron), your time or maybe even a hobby. We’ve had to learn that sometimes we have to give up something individually to benefit us as a couple.
2. Go to sleep together.
I’m married to a dairy farmer which means Aaron’s sleeping patterns can be a little muddled. The earliest Aaron has to get up is 4.30am so he goes to bed pretty early the night before. I’ve always made it a priority to go to bed at the same time as Aaron. It’s great quality time and a nice way to unwind. We usually will pray together before he goes to sleep, then I’ll sometimes stay up on my laptop. Because Aaron usually slips out of bed and goes out to work before I’m awake, I really appreciate this time at night together.
3. Tomorrow is another day.
There’s an old saying that says not to go to bed angry. While I believe this is true, I also think that things always seem to look the worst at night. Sometimes a good sleep makes a world of difference. Every morning is a fresh start and a chance to start again.
4. Sometimes you have to do really dum things.
On our anniversary we spent the afternoon pulling thistles out of the lawn. Being married means doing the really exciting things together, but also doing the dum things together. But you know what? Doing the dum things together can be so rewarding!
5. Take a breath and bite your tongue.
When encountering conflict, it can be easy to blurt out something hurtful based on what you feel in the moment. Whenever I feel angry or upset I try to take a breath and and think about whether I’m saying something that is going to resolve the problem or make it worse. This means that sometimes we may revisit a conflict later on when we’ve thought things through more.
6. Practice patience and stress less.
Sometimes you will think your spouse is a God sent angel. Other times… maybe not so much. Aaron and I have both been learning that we need to be patient with each other, and take the time to really understand one another, even when you find an empty toilet roll on the holder for the third time in one week. It’s not worth crying over spilt milk! Instead, be patient and move on. If it’s really a big deal, talk (NOT nag) to your partner. Our pastor said to us before we got married that it doesn’t really matter how the towels are folded when they’re hidden in a cupboard anyway. You and your spouse will naturally do things differently, so if you want a job done, let them do it their way. Sometimes you just have to compromise and in the famous words of Elsa, let it go.
7. Laugh.
A day without laughter is a day wasted right? Laugh at yourself, laugh at each other and laugh together. Laugh about your husband hanging the dry washing on the line instead of the wet (true story). Laugh at yourself for burning the tea so bad that you couldn’t eat it. Laugh about bruising foreheads when swinging in for a (not-so) romantic kiss.
Happy Anniversary Aaron!
