The last few weeks of pregnancy were no fun for me. I was sore, tired, ridiculously emotional and most definitely over it. Actually, most of pregnancy was no fun, I prefer babies out! When I woke just before 3am on Christmas Eve I was VERY happy to feel regular pains. I was more than ready to have this baby! I started timing the pains and they were coming 5 minutes apart and lasting a minute. Iām calling them pains but they werenāt particularly painful, just like strong period cramps, but there was no doubt in my mind that they were contractions. I was too excited to sleep, but did linger in bed till about 7.00am.
I got up, did my hair and makeup (lol), changed the sheets on the bed and fluffed around tidying the house.
At 8.00am I called my midwife to give her the heads up, after all it was Christmas Eve and I wanted her to be able to sort out the things she needed to, before coming over. I had never actually called her before so as soon as she answered the phone she would have known (or at least hoped) that I was ringing because I was in labour! I continued sorting the house, cleaning, and setting up for the day ahead. I put everything I needed on our table, including easy to eat snacks, drinks (Powerade), my oils, clothes for baby, and the linen and other home birth supplies that my midwife had already dropped off. Aaron was out on the farm making sure things were fine to leave for a few days, until about lunch time when my midwife Isobel arrived.
My contractions were still about the same at this point, 3-5 minutes apart and I could still walk and talk through them. Isobel checked me and I was 5cm! She asked if I usually had a high pain tolerance and I laughed. My family would VERY much disagree and would say I’m the biggest sook!
Aaron continued to fluff around doing jobs (the poor guy canāt sit still) like setting up the birth pool and getting hot water to fill it. We had looked into hiring a birth pool but they’re really expensive (like $200?) so we bought this pool from the Warehouse for $50. We had trialled filling the pool and emptied our hot water cylinder before it was full, so Aaron figured out how to transport water in drums from the cow shed which ended up being awesome! Isobel and I sat in the lounge chatting away and enjoying the sunshine. I was bouncing on my Swiss ball, then moved to the floor.
By 3.00pm I was starting to feel pressure in my bottom, so the second midwife Jo was called. At 4.00pm Isobel checked me again and I was at 7-8cm. I was still extremely comfortable at this stage and very relaxed, so hearing that I was so far along was amazing! I really do have the Calm Birth Method to thank for this but I’ll get to that later. Jo arrived shortly afterwards. I hadnāt met her before but felt extremely comfortable in her presence. She was warm and motherly and quietly slotted in.
At 4.30pm the contractions were starting to amp up and I felt a bit sick. Thankfully, that came to nothing. The midwives suggested I hop in the pool, but it took me a bit of will power to move from the floor into the pool. The contractions were pretty close together, but during a break I mustered up some energy and moved. At 5.00pm I got into the pool and felt instantly more relaxed, then things got intense.
This is when we move into what I consider the second part of my labour. The first part I was interacting with others and quite comfortable. The second part is when I had to block out everything around me and really focus on what my body was doing. It was at about that stage that I turned inwards and started using all the hypno-birthing techniques and tools that I had learnt such as:
Breathing: Count to four breathing in, then count to four breathing out. This can be at whatever pace you want, however I found long and strong breaths helpful and tried to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. I had practiced this throughout pregnancy.
Visualisations: I was imagining riding waves with the contractions and other times visualising my breath being like the wind, moving through a field of long grass. I donāt know how I thought that one up, but whatever works! š It was just a simple thing I could imagine and redirected my thoughts from the pain of the contractions, to the power of my breath.
Affirmations: I had wrote out a few different affirmations and scriptures that I had memorised. Saying these in my head were super helpful!
Praying: My prayers started as more of an affirmation that I knew God had everything under control and that my body was created for this task. As things progressed they turned into “God please help me!” and “God, only two pushes and we’ll have it out!” I prayed that one quite a few times, and held onto that until baby was born.
My Affirmations:
-I can do anything for a minute.
-I trust my body to birth this baby.
-I havenāt been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
-I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13).
I continued to manage through the contractions using these techniques and more or less blocked out everything else around me. I shut my eyes and remained calm, knowing that the calmer I was, the easier it would be for my cervix to finish dilating. I donāt think I really spoke from this point onwards. I started trying to brace myself against the pool to deal with the contractions. The midwives suggested Aaron get in the pool too so I had someone to lean against. He joined me at around 8.00pm. It was great to have him there to lean against, and I think he felt relieved to finally have a job to do! Before then he just sat quietly watching. Baby was posterior through most of the labour so I was having quite a lot of back pain. As I braced against Aaron, Isobel put pressure on my lower back, and Jo continued to put cold towels on my upper back and face which was incredible! With each contraction I gripped Aaron’s sides as hard as I could. Thank goodness he wore a singlet, otherwise he would have suffered a few wounds. About now was when I also started exercising my voice… š I remember reading about a link between low noises and how they open your throat and simultaneously open your cervix while in labour too, so I tried to keep my noises low and strong.
My midwives were honestly so God sent! They knew exactly what to do, trusted me and my instincts and basically left me to find my inner strength, and rhythm. They continued to constantly monitor baby’s heartbeat, which was fine the whole time.
At 8.45pm I started to feel the urge to push. My midwives never told me whether to push or not so I wasn’t sure if I was ‘allowed’ at first but Isobel soon said “Just go with it Brittney!” which was all the convincing I needed. With every contraction I pushed like that baby was coming out right then. It felt like it could! I knew my waters were still intact, so I was determined to push hard and pop them. Isobel said she didn’t really see any benefit to breaking waters early, and that in her experience it just made things more painful. After 10 minutes of pushing, they popped! I managed to spit out that I knew what the ring of fire was, so the midwives knew baby was close. Although they could see that anyway!
At 9.00pm Jo asked if I could feel baby, I touched down there and said no. She said feel again, and sure enough, baby’s head was hiding just inside, very ready to come. My noises started to turn high, as the pain got intense and I lost my calm for a minute. Jo reminded me to keep my voice low and direct that energy into baby coming out. Jo recorded that at 9.16pm there was a peep of baby’s head seen, at 9.19pm the head was born and at 9.20pm baby was born into the water. Baby didn’t come out posterior so must have turned at some stage. I was telling Aaron that I thought it was about 5 minutes between the head and the rest of baby coming out, but apparently not! Baby came out behind me, caught by Isobel who then passed baby to me. I can’t really remember this bit but definitely remember sitting back and holding baby to my chest.
Aaron started crying and I was just thinking THANK GOODNESS that baby is out! I was so relieved, and also quite concerned about the state of my butt. I was SURE my insides were going to fall out. After catching my breath, I decided to take a peak at what gender our baby was, I had spent a LONG time wondering! It was a girl! This had been my gut feeling but I really wasn’t sure. I was so so happy!
We stayed in the pool for about half an hour and left the cord attached, until it stopped pulsing. Jo asked Aaron if he wanted to pray her into our family. He got as far as “Thank you Lord for our daughter” then started crying so I think we just finished the prayer in our heads. Aaron went and had a shower, then came back and cut the cord at 9.45pm.
E was passed over to Aaron on the couch while Isobel and Jo assisted me out of the pool. They told me the placenta was right there and ready to come out. I was quite certain that it was actually my intestines falling out of my butt, so resisted. They said to do a cough, to help it to come out. I pretended to do the world’s most pathetic cough, but with a little convincing, I gave it a better go and sure enough, my placenta came out with basically no effort. It was caught in a bowl by Isobel. She said it was a great sized placenta!
Aaron and I sat on the couch together cuddling our babe while Isobel inspected my placenta and Jo cooked dinner. I know right, who else has had a midwife cook them dinner?! I was complaining of pain down below so Isobel and I went down to my bedroom to be checked. I had a few tears that needed some attention so Isobel fixed that up with Jo’s assistance. This part sucked a little, not because it was horribly painful, but more so because I felt I had done my work, and didn’t need any additional pain. I made it through though! Meanwhile, Aaron was in the lounge and had been pooped ALL OVER, so Jo helped him get sorted, and showed him how to dress E.
I showered and Jo helped to get me dressed, before I returned to the lounge. Never in my life have I been so happy for someone to dry between my boobs and help me put my knickers on. I was feeling pretty shaky and sore, as expected but all was well so Jo left to make it home before Santa made his visits. We had our first feed with Isobel’s guidance, before she headed off for the night too. We called our families to tell them the exciting news, then headed to bed.
What a Christmas Eve to remember huh! Isobel visited the next morning, and my family spent lunch with us. It was our quietest but best Christmas yet. A true reminder that Christmas isn’t about presents or food, but the birth of a special baby and spending time with people you love.
We are so blessed to have baby E in our lives and couldn’t wish for a better baby. We are truely in love!
The hugest thank you to our midwife Isobel Devery and her support Jo Lundman. As you can tell, they were AMAZING and an incredible help. I’ll forever be grateful for these women!
Your Questions Answered.
What helped you to deal with the pain?
I believe my ability to deal with the pain was 95% my mental state. I had prepared myself mentally, and educated myself about natural and calm childbirth. I used the techniques I mentioned earlier which were hugely beneficial. The other 5% was yelling and gripping Aaron. ;)
What went well or didn’t go well?
I think it all went well! I would have loved not to have torn, but thats a pretty standard part of childbirth, especially for first timers! It really was my dream birth though! It was calm, and peaceful and perfect!
Why a home birth?
I used to be really scared of birth and thought that a c section would have been the best way to go about things! Labour sounded really scary! The more I learnt about child birth, the more I saw that a home birth made great sense. According to studies, low risk women actually have better outcomes at home or birthing centres than they do at hospitals. For labour to progress, you need to produce a good amount of oxytocin, the same hormone used in love making, so you want a similar kind of environment, somewhere where you’re relaxed and comfortable and at peace. Obviously this can be achieved at the hospital and we were very open minded about going to the hospital if we needed to as well, but home was where I felt most comfortable.
I was incredibly happy with the midwife we had chosen and knew she was confident in assisting us at home. For a home birth you get two midwives, so her back up attended the birth too. The midwives bring with them medication for bleeding, placenta delivery, resuscitation equipment and everything else needed to ensure a safe labour and delivery. We discussed potential things that could go wrong and knew that the hospital was only 45 minutes away if it was needed.
What indications did you have that labour was starting?
Since 38 weeks I had cramps on and off, changes in discharge (TMI?) and felt like I had a bowling ball in between my legs when I walked. Many times I thought labour could have been starting, but it wasn’t. As soon as I woke with the first contraction, I knew exactly what it was.
How did you use essential oils during labour?
Ok, here’s the thing… I didn’t! I was managing completely fine for so long so hadn’t decided to use them yet. The changeover to my ‘second part’ was so fast. I had switched my logical side of my brain off (very important BTW) and wasn’t speaking so didn’t communicate what I wanted. Ideally I should have wrote down how I wanted to use my oils so that Aaron or the midwives could have helped. I was planning on inhaling Frankincense, Clary Sage and Balance from a face cloth. I have however used oils in my recovery! I’ve been using lots of Clary Calm to help with after pains and contracting my uterus, Rose for hormonal and emotional support, as well as for hormone spots on bubba, then my DIY peri spray (ah-mazing) every time after I use the loo. It has rose water, rose witch hazel, rose oil, frankincense, blue tansy and copaiba. The recipe is here.
What resources did you use to prepare yourself?
The most helpful thing I did was listen to The Calm Birth Method by Suzy Ashworth. It gave me techniques to help to have a calm birth. It isn’t just for people wanting a home birth, or unmedicated birth though! It talks through how to have a calm birth, whatever method you choose.
The other thing I did was fill my head with as many positive stories as possible. I watched all four seasons of Call the Midwife on Netflix in my first trimester which probably helped too, considering most births on the show are unmedicated and at home. I also watched a lot of birth vlogs on Youtube!
Advice for others wanting a home birth?
Don’t tell too many people, or worry about other’s thoughts if you tell them. Most people I told were pretty skeptical and tried to talk me out of it, or gave me their horror stories about almost dying. You also have my full permission to stop people telling you their bad stories by saying “Sorry! This isn’t helpful. I’m focusing on positive stories at the moment.” If you’ve spoken to your care provider and they’re comfortable, then go for it! Its their opinion that counts! Be prepared incase you do need to leave home, and also know that if labour starts and you decide you want to go to the hospital, thats totally fine too!
