Gosh I love the magic of birth. And home birth. For me, there’s few things that can match the beauty of meeting your babe for the first time. This is the story of how our third baby, Little L Gal, came earth side.
Pregnancy
If you’ve known me for more than ten minutes you’ll know that pregnancy just ain’t my favourite thing. I survive, not thrive. There’s nothing much about it that I like or enjoy and I often struggle both mentally and physically.
This time I anticipated the issues I’d likely have and proactively worked at preventing or lessening them. The work that I did for sure paid off. Previously I had issues with low iron, making me feel pretty unwell, and awful problems with sciatica and SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction). This time as soon as I found out I was pregnant I booked a consult with Gina Urlich’s team to get my hands on some top quality supplements which made a huge difference. I also saw a chiropractor almost weekly from about 16 weeks, which mostly kept sciatica at bay and SPD quite manageable. I was careful not to push myself and took time to rest when I needed which helped me feel better overall.
Despite giving birth at home twice before, for some reason I felt a lot more nervous than previous times. I think I remembered the pain a little too clearly and definitely didn’t have that blind confidence that I had for my first. That, combined with concerns about my ability to cope with three little kids under the age of four, left me a little nervous about what the next few months had in store. I talked a lot with my husband about these feelings and we worked through them together. I put in extra work to prep myself mentally for birth so that I could be in a positive headspace.
Things that I did to mentally prepare for birth:
- Listened to The Calm Birth Method on Audible
- visualised my ideal birth
- spent time in prayer
- practiced breathing
- listened to my birth playlist
- made affirmation cards and went over them almost daily
39 Weeks Pregnant
Ok, lets fast forward to 39 weeks pregnant. Physically, I was feeling pretty fine. Very pregnant, but relatively pain free which was a huge blessing. Unfortunately, a few days before my due date we got some sad family news that meant my sister (one of my birth support people) had to go to the North Island for a week and my Mum (chief babysitter and other birth support person) was potentially going to be in Australia.
That same day, Thursday at 39 + 4 days pregnant, I found out that the postpartum care I had organised was likely going to be full, with no room for me. A change of plans this late in pregnancy, combined with the other things going on weighed up to a pretty large emotional load. I prayed like crazy that baby would stay put for a bit longer until the dust had settled. Over the next week we replanned things, and Mum decided to stay back which was a huge relief. My Mum is one of my best friends and such a big help to me when I have babies so it was extremely comforting to know she’d be here.
40 Weeks Pregnant
My sister was coming back on Thursday evening (40+4) so I knew just had to be pregnant until then. On Wednesday night I decided that it was essential that I got in a better headspace incase I went into labour. It had been such an emotionally turbulent week. I went through my affirmation cards, and prayed. In my journal I wrote down exactly how I envisioned my birth, focusing on the peace I would feel, and the strength of my mind to carry my through calmly. I prayed over it and trusted God to help me through what was to come next. Baby was close.
On Thursday morning I went to the chiropractor for a final adjustment. She said that my body felt great and baby was perfectly aligned for birth. I left feeling confident that my body was ready. I then headed to my parents’ house for the rest of the day. When driving home that night I felt that I had released and dealt with the emotion that I needed to, and could then move on to think about my baby and birth again. My Mum was staying in the country, my sister was back, and those first postpartum days were planned. In the car I turned on my birth playlist and prayed the whole way home that God would grant me peace and help me to feel calm. I was ready. I went to bed relaxed, and confident, knowing that my baby would soon be in my arms.
Friday 5th August – 1.30am
When you learn about birth, you hear a lot about oxytocin. It’s the love hormone responsible for both starting and progressing labour. To produce oxytocin you need to be calm and relaxed so it was absolutely no surprise to me that at 1.30am on Friday morning, I woke to contractions, 1 minute long, 5 minutes apart. It took only a few for me to recognise exactly what was going on. I lay in bed, timed a few contractions to see where I was at, and prayed once again that everything would go well. I was feeling calm and almost found comfort in the rhythmic pattern of the surges.
2.30am
At about 2.30am I was hopping back into bed after using the toilet when Aaron stirred and asked if I was in labour. We had a quick chat about the work he had to do in the morning, and prayed together. He went back to sleep so he could get up at milk the cows at 4.30am. With it being our busy time of the year on the farm, he couldn’t just tap out of work easily.
4.00am
By 4.00am I was breathing through contractions and could feel them intensifying a lot faster than my previous labours. Aaron got up and I told him that he better not go milking and that I thought I needed to call my midwife. My last two births were 18 hours each so he was a little skeptical. After listening to my breathing, he believed me, and headed out to work to make sure everything was fine on the farm for the day. I called my midwife who was at another birth and said she’d be there in a few hours. I excitedly called my Mum and sister too and told them they should make their way to my house soon.
Over the next few hours I stayed snuggled up in bed, continued breathing through contractions, reading my affirmation cards and listening to my playlist through my headphones. My plan was to rest in early labour as much as possible and I had hoped to get some more sleep, but was happy with the rest I was getting between surges. I had my birth combs in my hands and loved using them to hold onto and redirect my focus. I was experiencing lower back pain so kept a hot wheat sack across it as I lay on my side. Contractions remained at a minute long and 5 minutes apart. They were intensifying but I found them perfectly manageable by focusing on my breathing. I was thankful for our ensuite on the side of our bedroom as I was up and down to the toilet having a pre birth clear out.
6.00am
At about 6am Aaron got back inside and checked on how I was going. He went to the lounge and started to get the birth pool set up. Shortly after that my Mum and sister India arrived. They came to my room and we chatted. A wave of nausea came over me and Aaron got a bucket just in case. My midwife txt to say she’d be there soon, so Mum suggested we pray before she arrived. Poor Mum’s prayer was cut short when I had to grab the bucket to be sick. My head was still in the bucket when my midwife walked in. She smiled and said it was a great sign!
Over the next hour or so the kids woke, so Aaron, Mum and India got them breakfast and ready for the day before Aaron took them over to his parents’ place. As they were leaving I gave them a big squeeze and told them that we were going to meet the baby today. I shed a few tears, thinking that this was the last of us being a family of four, and the end of B being my youngest babe. It was such a bittersweet moment marking the end of an era for us, but the start of a new one.
8.00am
I continued labouring in my bed, feeling the contractions strengthen, and my cervix opening. As the baby moved lower I felt the pain travel down into my legs too. I was feeling quite certain that baby was going to come soon but didn’t want to be overconfident either. My midwife came in and out, quietly observing and monitoring baby’s heart rate regularly. Mum, India and Aaron came in a few times, chatting between contractions. I talked to my other sister Jorja on the phone who had stayed at my parent’s the night before. She was heading back to her home in Dunedin that day but decided to postpone her travel by a few hours in hopes that she’d be able to meet the baby.
By 8.30am the contractions were quite strong and becoming uncomfortable. Standing up to go to the bathroom meant back to back contractions. One as I stood up, one on the toilet, one washing my hands, and one walking back to the bed. My midwife told me that a back up was available when we needed her and in my head I was thinking “Uhh, that’s now isn’t it?”
8.45am
I had a strong contraction where I felt a lot of pressure in my bottom and knew EXACTLY what that meant. I told Aaron and he asked if I wanted a check to see where I was at. At 8.45am I asked my midwife to do a vaginal examination. She said I was 8cm, but very soft, so pretty close. I knew it anyway, but just needed that reassurance. The back up midwife was contacted and Aaron quickly started filling the pool. From then on my contractions were coming in one after the other, and I could barely tell when one stopped and another started. I used visualisations at this point to distract my mind. This sound super weird, but I imagined a lion roaring and its breath blowing through long grass in a meadow. Doing this distanced myself from the intensity and calmed my mind.
9.00am
I had joked to Jorja the day before that I would have the baby the next morning for her to see before she returned home. At about 9am I txt her saying “Well, I think it’s your lucky day!”
My midwife was still in the bedroom with me and Aaron was working on getting the pool ready. At one point I asked how much water was in the pool and by midwife said about a foot. “Shoot,” I thought to myself. “This baby is going to be born on the bed or the floor.” I knew I was going through transition and as I felt the nerves surface I repeated over and over to myself “Today I meet my baby. Today I meet my baby.”
I asked my midwife to fetch Aaron so he could help me walk from the bedroom to the lounge where the pool was. He was busy with the pool so she offered her help and said I’d likely get three big contractions as I walked down. I joked that I should run so I wouldn’t get any but she said it doesn’t quite work like that. Bother. As I walked down to the lounge, birth combs in hands, I braced against doorways through the height of strong contractions.
9.25am
I stood on the tarp we had put down on the floor by the pool, bracing onto Aaron through a contraction and was a little worried the baby was going to be born right there. I could feel it so close! Thankfully, I got a break long enough to get in the pool. Because I was so late in labour, I didn’t really feel the relief that I usually do when I hopped in the water as everything was ALL GO. With combs squeezed, and a cold cloth across my neck, I put all my energy into remaining calm as I felt the intense pressure down there. My waters released with a slight pop, relieving some of that pressure and allowing baby to move down further. At about this time the back up midwife quietly snuck in and started taking notes.
9.34am
One big push and the head was born. “Head is born!” my midwife said.
After what felt like a wait way too long (but was actually only 12 seconds), the next contraction started and I pushed with all my might to birth the body. Three seconds later, my midwife caught the baby, and I took a moment to breathe a sigh of relief before turning around to pick up the babe myself. “I’m done!!!” I exclaimed.
I sat and we all enjoyed this precious time. I cuddled my new baby and relaxed knowing she was out and labour was over. Tears were shed by a few in the room as we took in our new baby GIRL. Aaron had known since the 20 week scan but kept it a secret on my request. I was sure that I was having a boy so was pleasantly surprised that my first daughter now had a sister. How special! Because my last two labours were 18 hours, this one felt so much quicker. I even thought to myself “is that it?!” at the end of it. Aaron commented on how chirpy I was when usually I’m totally zonked.
10.00am
As I was sitting in the pool I was feeling more contractions and pressure, knowing the placenta was in its way. We clamped and cut the cord, then I stood up and allowed the placenta to come. We dried off, I got my bottom checked (just a small 1st degree tear and a little graze) then I fed baby L Gal for the first time. After that, Mum helped me shower then we enjoyed lunch together.
After lunch the kids came back and excitedly met their baby sister. They were very much smitten! My other sister Jorja visited as well as my Dad, Aaron’s parents and sister. We didn’t tell them she was a girl until they were there in person which was special!
The Next Few Days
The following days were spent at home where Mum looked after the kids and played nurse. Because its calving time on the farm, unfortunately Aaron couldn’t take time off so he continued to work. I felt pretty exhausted and was being slammed with afterpains so rested and sat as much as I possibly could. After a few days I was feeling a bit better so Mum took the kids back to her house and I enjoyed a few quiet days at home by myself.
Things that Worked Well:
- birth combs: absolutely LOVED these and didn’t let go of them the whole time
- headphones + playlist: when listening to music I could tap out a bit and found I got the most rest with them in
- heat pack: this was comforting for my sore back
- staying in bed: my second labour was quite social, so this time I wanted to think like a cat and snuggle down by myself
- breathing: essential
Things I Would Have Changed:
This really was such a great labour and birth and I have no complaints. The only thing I would have wanted different is when I got in the pool. I would have loved to be in there a bit earlier. I also wanted to be with Aaron a bit more during labour but between the kids, cows and the pool, he was pretty busy.
So that’s it! The birth of our THIRD (can you believe it?!) baby. I pray that this story inspires others to pursue a calm and positive birth and maybe even home birth too! Feel free to send me questions. I’d love to help!
A BIG thank you to my midwife. Could not wish for someone better!!
